Spikes (The Beginning to Sophomore Year)

Spikes, spikes, and more spikes. What can I say, I'm obsessed with spikes. Some people collect coins, some people collect stamps, I collect spikes. It began with me just wanting to do what the older kids were doing and it evolved into not just an obsession with the spikes but more of an obsession with feeling the lightest I could on race day. It has transformed the way I run now. It has made it so that I'm kind of OCD about having any weight on me to the point where I am beginning to hate wearing shirts when I run. I love the feeling of weightlessness when you are running with flats or spikes, it makes me feel amazing. People tell me it's not the shoes that make the runner but I wouldn't be going as fast if I was running in cement shoes would I?


It all began with my first pair of running shoes. Some cheap New Balance trainers that I had since I was in 6th grade. I was beginning freshman year and was running in size 5 trainers. I was a tiny kid. As my freshman season began to get into full gear I learned of a new thing that I had not heard of before, flats. Now when I first heard of it I thought What? They want us to wear girl shoes? Soon enough I was buying my first pair. I remember them well. A pair of waffle racers that the whole guys team bought together. I felt like a part of something. I had no idea at the time but those size 6.5 flats would spark somewhat of a fascination for racing shoes. Those flats were in use until the end of my freshman year. They took me to a 2 mile PR the last race of the season, 2 weeks after being in the hospital for 5 days for a back injury after PRing in the mile. I finished freshman year with those shoes with PR's of 5:47, 12:27, and 20:07. My mom now uses them to mow the lawn with...

At the end of track season I ended up buying my first 2 pairs of spikes. Since I intend to write about each as I wore them, I'll talk about these later.


As my first pair of flats began to deteriorate I was in need for a new pair of flats for my sophomore season. So I went with the first and only thing I could find at a sporting goods store, another pair of waffle racers. Why change something that wasn't broken was my logic here. The first pair served me well so why not these. This led me to my favorite season of high school. Every race that was possible for me to medal in I did. They were the shoes I wore when our school got to CIF for the first time in 5 years. A second place finish in league, Montclair's first male Mt. Sac medalist. It was a perfect season for me.



These is where my mass buying started. I remember the day well. The local Sports Chalet was closing and was selling everything in the store for cheap. This is where I found my first real pair of spikes. I was looking all throughout the store for different kinds of shoes and then I opened a box with spikes I had never seen before. They looked like sprinting spikes to me because that's what my coach believed they were. The box said milers and they looked amazing to me. Blue upper with a grey stripe and a red swoosh. They just looked so perfect. I had to have them. The suggested retail was almost 100 bucks but got them for 9.99. Such a steal. Still one of my favorites. I've been dying to get my hands on another pair of these in my size now. Unfortunately for me my league only had one all-weather track and the plate was pretty much destroyed by the dirt. I ended up quitting half way through the season due to coaching conflicts.

These spikes for some reason caught my attention. I was searching through and found these and liked them. For 10 dollars I couldn't help but purchase them. I loved these spikes during my sophomore track season. They just clicked with me. I ran almost every race with them. I had a good ride with these. These are the only Addidas I have ever and probably will ever own.

I honestly have no idea why I bought these. I guess 10 dollar shoes were too good to pass up. They were too big for me and when I grew into them I found better shoes. I lost the other shoe. What a waste.

That sophomore track season was a tough season for me. I fell under peer pressure from the "fast" kids and ended up quitting because of them and our cross country coach. I have been pretty much in denial about this season but I'll man up and say that this season was a failure for me because of my attitude and my lack of independence. If I could repeat any season it would probably be this one. It was a waste and I feel like I could have done much more with a positive attitude.

A New Outlook (Part 3)

Me
I have to say this has been the meaning of this summer. I have learned much about myself and have come to many realizations. The changes have been made to make me a better person when school begins again because let's face it, there's nothing left for me here. I know what I want now and most of it I know how to get it. I wanted a group of friends I could depend on and by chopping down the branches that were in my way I was able to find some people. I want to be successful in the thing I love doing. So I begin to take my training seriously and began to put it as my priority even if it made me miss some stuff.

I'm excited though. I have less than a month and another amazing year comes. Why not make this summer worth it before I leave. Make it a happy transition.

A New Outlook (Part 2)

Running
From the beginning I believed that this would be the best training summer of my life. I thought everything would be perfect. Hungry to race again I knew that the way to get the times I wanted was to train my butt off. It started with disappointment when I found out my miles were cut from 80 to 60. Then the knee injury came and I was left in shambles. No motivation.

Then I began to take care of myself. Started doing different kinds of things to get myself back to 100%. As I marked off the workouts after completion I began to get more motivation.

Then came the realization. This is my training schedule. These are the miles I was assigned to do. So I began to start getting my priorities straight. I mean I have no job and nothing to do most days, so why does my schedule have so many missed runs. That's when I began to accept my responsibilities. I love what I do so why miss out on it if I don't have someone to run with.

The rest of the summer will be filled with running. No days off.

A New Outlook (Part 1)

Looking back at this summer and the last couple blog posts I have come to the conclusion that this summer wasn't so bad. I mean it isn't so bad. I still have a month to go.

Friends
Yes I came back to a place where most people don't like me. So what! I put so much focus on the fact that I have alienated almost all the people that I considered my "best friends" that I forgot to remember that I do have a couple that still are looking out for me. I began to focus on the quantity instead of quality. I can count on one hand the friends that have had my back this summer. Some have come by but these group of guys have really had my back this summer. These 4 have have been real with me since the beginning.

One a training partner whom a lot of the old team didn't like but as he said it, "I don't care what they think of me, honestly out of the whole team I can only see myself talking to you after I graduate." This is true. I never thought I would have ended up in the same spot. I hate my old team and don't care what they think about me and my only friend from there is him. Funny how things work out.

Next comes someone I would joke around with in high school. We were on the same team and we had our share of fun but I never thought we would still be hanging out outside of the track. The jokes keep coming and I gotta say I'm glad I still talk to this guy. He always find a way to find something witty to say to cheer everyone up. Someone I'm glad to call a friend.

This one is quite interesting. This person I thought I would never speak to again after what happened in high school. I was part of the group that ruined his last month of high school just because I was under the control of a total jackass. This guy has been real with me since the beginning. Even before all of the bandit crap he was someone that seemed different to me. He was someone that knew how to fake it, something I should have done all throughout the whole mess. Glad to see that we are friends again

Finally the last. He bugs the shit out of me on a constant basis. He finds a way to get angry about everything but he is someone that is fun to hang with. Another person that has been real to me since the beginning. Someone that tried to improve who I was without trying to change the real me. Someone I got to say I'm glad to have as my friend.

This group right here has made my summer enjoyable. I never would have thought all of us would be hanging out together but we did and had a hell of a time. People up for the adventure. People that are up for driving to the beach and leaving after an hour because they want to play Monopoly. No one trying to be better than the others just a group that just wants to have fun. What friends should be.

Stream of Consciousness.

It's one of those nights.
Thoughts going in and out of my head.
One minute this
One minute that
I hate it
I love it
I dread it
I look forward to the next time it happens
Although it might feel peaceful to have a clear mind
Nothing ever gets done.
When I'm like this things start to piece together.
One thought combines with one worry to create a solution
Sometimes drastic
Why not take a risk though.
I have spent so much time trying to get myself away from getting like this
Why not let the mind wander
Let the things that are to be trapped be set free

The desire to not only learn more about myself but to also change
Change those things that have made me into a worse person
I have found myself and lost it at the same time
Found the confidence I needed to do better things
Lost the good person I once was
The confidence has become borderline arrogance
It has transformed me into the person I most hate
The student is becoming an exact copy of the teacher
I've been called out about it already
What made me believe that being a good person was bad

Oh that's right
They all did
Being a welcome mat starts to getting annoying
Now that I want to go back I need to remember
All those people that made me become what I am now
And I have to do what I was afraid to do before
Delete them from my life
They can't ruin my life anymore
I don't see them around
There is no hesitation
Done trying to fit in with them

Such a waste of time
Good riddance.

Digging Around

At this point there is so much to say. I haven't really kept track of my this thing because to put it bluntly, my training went to shit. I can't run if I can't bend my knee. From there came a downward spiral of frustration and laziness. I mean what else can I do around this city if I can't run and have barely any friends around here.

It's rough coming back here for the summer. It has really kicked in.I told myself not to look forward to anything but running. Unfortunately when running began to take a downturn the reality of coming back here surfaced. I'm not comfortable here unless I put in my mind that I'm here to train. I'm not back here to make friends, hell I had 17.5 years to do that here and those that I am still friends with from here are there for a reason. ‎"I kept going and going and going. And I kept running until there was nobody trailing me until there was nobody around me until I couldn’t hear any footsteps, you know. I left in a blaze of glory, so to speak. But I left some important people behind too. Now I go back to Zombieland and nobody’s faces look the same." This says it all. The funny thing is that even those that I come back to don't seem to be the same. We aren't as close as we used to be. I'm not sad about it though. Before I would be really depressed about it, but now I realize that I have the people I need around me already.

I also have come to the conclusion that I have sort of faded from the good person I used to be into kind of a douchebag. I have to fix that about myself. I guess my "friends" did too good of a job back then. I am not hurt as easily as before but I do not feel as genuine as I used to. Things need changing and the summer really is the perfect time to do it.

Summer has officially started and if I am not going to make memories I am going to at least make sure that I come out a better person.

Day Wasted.

After the pain of yesterday I spent the whole day being lazy. It was hard to sleep because of my knee aching from being extended and elevated so I ended up waking up at 2 in the afternoon. I got out of bed and it still hurt to walk.

Due to that I made a decision to take the day off to heal back up.