Spikes (The Beginning to Sophomore Year)

Spikes, spikes, and more spikes. What can I say, I'm obsessed with spikes. Some people collect coins, some people collect stamps, I collect spikes. It began with me just wanting to do what the older kids were doing and it evolved into not just an obsession with the spikes but more of an obsession with feeling the lightest I could on race day. It has transformed the way I run now. It has made it so that I'm kind of OCD about having any weight on me to the point where I am beginning to hate wearing shirts when I run. I love the feeling of weightlessness when you are running with flats or spikes, it makes me feel amazing. People tell me it's not the shoes that make the runner but I wouldn't be going as fast if I was running in cement shoes would I?


It all began with my first pair of running shoes. Some cheap New Balance trainers that I had since I was in 6th grade. I was beginning freshman year and was running in size 5 trainers. I was a tiny kid. As my freshman season began to get into full gear I learned of a new thing that I had not heard of before, flats. Now when I first heard of it I thought What? They want us to wear girl shoes? Soon enough I was buying my first pair. I remember them well. A pair of waffle racers that the whole guys team bought together. I felt like a part of something. I had no idea at the time but those size 6.5 flats would spark somewhat of a fascination for racing shoes. Those flats were in use until the end of my freshman year. They took me to a 2 mile PR the last race of the season, 2 weeks after being in the hospital for 5 days for a back injury after PRing in the mile. I finished freshman year with those shoes with PR's of 5:47, 12:27, and 20:07. My mom now uses them to mow the lawn with...

At the end of track season I ended up buying my first 2 pairs of spikes. Since I intend to write about each as I wore them, I'll talk about these later.


As my first pair of flats began to deteriorate I was in need for a new pair of flats for my sophomore season. So I went with the first and only thing I could find at a sporting goods store, another pair of waffle racers. Why change something that wasn't broken was my logic here. The first pair served me well so why not these. This led me to my favorite season of high school. Every race that was possible for me to medal in I did. They were the shoes I wore when our school got to CIF for the first time in 5 years. A second place finish in league, Montclair's first male Mt. Sac medalist. It was a perfect season for me.



These is where my mass buying started. I remember the day well. The local Sports Chalet was closing and was selling everything in the store for cheap. This is where I found my first real pair of spikes. I was looking all throughout the store for different kinds of shoes and then I opened a box with spikes I had never seen before. They looked like sprinting spikes to me because that's what my coach believed they were. The box said milers and they looked amazing to me. Blue upper with a grey stripe and a red swoosh. They just looked so perfect. I had to have them. The suggested retail was almost 100 bucks but got them for 9.99. Such a steal. Still one of my favorites. I've been dying to get my hands on another pair of these in my size now. Unfortunately for me my league only had one all-weather track and the plate was pretty much destroyed by the dirt. I ended up quitting half way through the season due to coaching conflicts.

These spikes for some reason caught my attention. I was searching through and found these and liked them. For 10 dollars I couldn't help but purchase them. I loved these spikes during my sophomore track season. They just clicked with me. I ran almost every race with them. I had a good ride with these. These are the only Addidas I have ever and probably will ever own.

I honestly have no idea why I bought these. I guess 10 dollar shoes were too good to pass up. They were too big for me and when I grew into them I found better shoes. I lost the other shoe. What a waste.

That sophomore track season was a tough season for me. I fell under peer pressure from the "fast" kids and ended up quitting because of them and our cross country coach. I have been pretty much in denial about this season but I'll man up and say that this season was a failure for me because of my attitude and my lack of independence. If I could repeat any season it would probably be this one. It was a waste and I feel like I could have done much more with a positive attitude.

A New Outlook (Part 3)

Me
I have to say this has been the meaning of this summer. I have learned much about myself and have come to many realizations. The changes have been made to make me a better person when school begins again because let's face it, there's nothing left for me here. I know what I want now and most of it I know how to get it. I wanted a group of friends I could depend on and by chopping down the branches that were in my way I was able to find some people. I want to be successful in the thing I love doing. So I begin to take my training seriously and began to put it as my priority even if it made me miss some stuff.

I'm excited though. I have less than a month and another amazing year comes. Why not make this summer worth it before I leave. Make it a happy transition.

A New Outlook (Part 2)

Running
From the beginning I believed that this would be the best training summer of my life. I thought everything would be perfect. Hungry to race again I knew that the way to get the times I wanted was to train my butt off. It started with disappointment when I found out my miles were cut from 80 to 60. Then the knee injury came and I was left in shambles. No motivation.

Then I began to take care of myself. Started doing different kinds of things to get myself back to 100%. As I marked off the workouts after completion I began to get more motivation.

Then came the realization. This is my training schedule. These are the miles I was assigned to do. So I began to start getting my priorities straight. I mean I have no job and nothing to do most days, so why does my schedule have so many missed runs. That's when I began to accept my responsibilities. I love what I do so why miss out on it if I don't have someone to run with.

The rest of the summer will be filled with running. No days off.

A New Outlook (Part 1)

Looking back at this summer and the last couple blog posts I have come to the conclusion that this summer wasn't so bad. I mean it isn't so bad. I still have a month to go.

Friends
Yes I came back to a place where most people don't like me. So what! I put so much focus on the fact that I have alienated almost all the people that I considered my "best friends" that I forgot to remember that I do have a couple that still are looking out for me. I began to focus on the quantity instead of quality. I can count on one hand the friends that have had my back this summer. Some have come by but these group of guys have really had my back this summer. These 4 have have been real with me since the beginning.

One a training partner whom a lot of the old team didn't like but as he said it, "I don't care what they think of me, honestly out of the whole team I can only see myself talking to you after I graduate." This is true. I never thought I would have ended up in the same spot. I hate my old team and don't care what they think about me and my only friend from there is him. Funny how things work out.

Next comes someone I would joke around with in high school. We were on the same team and we had our share of fun but I never thought we would still be hanging out outside of the track. The jokes keep coming and I gotta say I'm glad I still talk to this guy. He always find a way to find something witty to say to cheer everyone up. Someone I'm glad to call a friend.

This one is quite interesting. This person I thought I would never speak to again after what happened in high school. I was part of the group that ruined his last month of high school just because I was under the control of a total jackass. This guy has been real with me since the beginning. Even before all of the bandit crap he was someone that seemed different to me. He was someone that knew how to fake it, something I should have done all throughout the whole mess. Glad to see that we are friends again

Finally the last. He bugs the shit out of me on a constant basis. He finds a way to get angry about everything but he is someone that is fun to hang with. Another person that has been real to me since the beginning. Someone that tried to improve who I was without trying to change the real me. Someone I got to say I'm glad to have as my friend.

This group right here has made my summer enjoyable. I never would have thought all of us would be hanging out together but we did and had a hell of a time. People up for the adventure. People that are up for driving to the beach and leaving after an hour because they want to play Monopoly. No one trying to be better than the others just a group that just wants to have fun. What friends should be.

Stream of Consciousness.

It's one of those nights.
Thoughts going in and out of my head.
One minute this
One minute that
I hate it
I love it
I dread it
I look forward to the next time it happens
Although it might feel peaceful to have a clear mind
Nothing ever gets done.
When I'm like this things start to piece together.
One thought combines with one worry to create a solution
Sometimes drastic
Why not take a risk though.
I have spent so much time trying to get myself away from getting like this
Why not let the mind wander
Let the things that are to be trapped be set free

The desire to not only learn more about myself but to also change
Change those things that have made me into a worse person
I have found myself and lost it at the same time
Found the confidence I needed to do better things
Lost the good person I once was
The confidence has become borderline arrogance
It has transformed me into the person I most hate
The student is becoming an exact copy of the teacher
I've been called out about it already
What made me believe that being a good person was bad

Oh that's right
They all did
Being a welcome mat starts to getting annoying
Now that I want to go back I need to remember
All those people that made me become what I am now
And I have to do what I was afraid to do before
Delete them from my life
They can't ruin my life anymore
I don't see them around
There is no hesitation
Done trying to fit in with them

Such a waste of time
Good riddance.

Digging Around

At this point there is so much to say. I haven't really kept track of my this thing because to put it bluntly, my training went to shit. I can't run if I can't bend my knee. From there came a downward spiral of frustration and laziness. I mean what else can I do around this city if I can't run and have barely any friends around here.

It's rough coming back here for the summer. It has really kicked in.I told myself not to look forward to anything but running. Unfortunately when running began to take a downturn the reality of coming back here surfaced. I'm not comfortable here unless I put in my mind that I'm here to train. I'm not back here to make friends, hell I had 17.5 years to do that here and those that I am still friends with from here are there for a reason. ‎"I kept going and going and going. And I kept running until there was nobody trailing me until there was nobody around me until I couldn’t hear any footsteps, you know. I left in a blaze of glory, so to speak. But I left some important people behind too. Now I go back to Zombieland and nobody’s faces look the same." This says it all. The funny thing is that even those that I come back to don't seem to be the same. We aren't as close as we used to be. I'm not sad about it though. Before I would be really depressed about it, but now I realize that I have the people I need around me already.

I also have come to the conclusion that I have sort of faded from the good person I used to be into kind of a douchebag. I have to fix that about myself. I guess my "friends" did too good of a job back then. I am not hurt as easily as before but I do not feel as genuine as I used to. Things need changing and the summer really is the perfect time to do it.

Summer has officially started and if I am not going to make memories I am going to at least make sure that I come out a better person.

Day Wasted.

After the pain of yesterday I spent the whole day being lazy. It was hard to sleep because of my knee aching from being extended and elevated so I ended up waking up at 2 in the afternoon. I got out of bed and it still hurt to walk.

Due to that I made a decision to take the day off to heal back up.

Bittersweet.

I began the day as I have this whole break. Waking up every 6 1/2 minutes to the snooze button until I decide to finally wake up at 10. As I looked through the blinds I felt a wave of laziness just come over me, it looked hot outside. It's the summer so I shouldn't be that surprised. So I pulled myself out of bed, laced up the shoes and set off again into the hot California sun to get those miles in.

As soon as I began running my golden retriever, Bruce, began chasing me. I had to turn around so he wouldn't get lost but as I was walking him back I came up with a great idea, bring Bruce on my run. So I went inside, got his leash and I now had a running pawtner. He surprised me today, he was well behaved and was cruising at mid 7 minute pace. Looks like I'll be doing this again soon.

My regular run for the day did not go as well for me. It was set to be a 7 miler with Gustavo but it turned out to be a big challenge. As soon as I hit my first couple of steps I knew something was not right. Every time I bent my knee it would send a shocking pain through my system. I spent pretty much the rest of the run trying to deal with the pain. It was a nice run don't get me wrong, besides almost getting killed by a woman driver, again. The nice thing is I feel as though I haven't done anything.

Day 1.

Summer base training finally has come. The workouts are right there all I have to do is get up and run. It's shaping up to look like a great summer to go out and run. I have a drive that I've never had before, I mean I've always had a drive to go out and train but never like this. I'm hungry, hungry to race. I've been dying to compete and Tracko-de-mayo was just a snack. I am dying to race but not like just going out today and doing a 5k, no, I am dying to race at my peak. I've surprised myself at how comfortable I am able to run, now I just want to get better and go out and surprise others.

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The first day came with me trying to wake up at 7 AM, again. Like I said trying, for some reason I can't make myself get up and go run at that early, so instead I woke up at 10. Instantly regretting pushing the snooze button so much, I made myself get up and go run. Better late than never.

Luckily it was not that hot. The sun was shining down on me but the breeze stopped the sun for burning me as much. I felt pretty lazy and just wanted to get the run over with. I hit the turn around point in under 7 minutes. Just less than 7 more and I could go back inside. The way back wasn't too tough, I mean it was only a mile.

I stopped my watch, 13:11. Nice little recovery run.

I took about a 5 hour break and it was off to do my assigned run for the day. I met up with Gustavo at the Claremont Colleges and started off our run. Unfortunately for me, I forgot to start the stopwatch so we ended up turning our 2 mile warm-up into a 3 mile warm-up. No biggie. The pace was nice and calm. Something that I haven't been able to do all summer.

We got on the track and I tossed him my victories. It was time for strides. Each one felt much faster than I have done before. It was much easier when I had someone to do the runs with me. Each of the 100's were in around 13 seconds so I guess I'm doing alright.

We finished off the day with a mile cool-down on the grass and some abs. Surprisingly enough, it felt as though I didn't even run that much. It feels nice to be able to come back home feeling fresh.

Preparation

With our summer mileage already assigned and the first day being a day off, I decided to prepare for what was going to happen this summer.

It's a bit tough for me to accept that I have the least mileage out of the returning top guys but I understand. As much as I wanted to hit 80 this summer, I understand that my body might not be ready for it. I've been out for about 2 months so I have to start this summer slow. It's a bit frustrating but I know it is what's best for me at this moment. With that said I will be on top of all my miles. I will focus on quality not quantity this summer because no matter how many miles I do if they aren't quality they won't be as beneficial as if I'm doing less.

Thinking about it now, this summer doesn't sound like it is going to be so solitary. I have a new training partner for this summer, we share a common goal for our miles this summer. Hernan will be coming back next week, Kevin will be back at the end of the month, and two more teammates live close enough to join us. It is possible to have a group of 6 to run with this summer. That's pretty awesome.

This will be an interesting summer.

Hootenanny

The day that I waited for all of track season had finally arrived. The second annual hootenanny. It is more than just a get together with the team. To me it signifies the beginning of cross country. The day that we all come together and meet our new recruits as well as learn about how our summer training shall go.

I picked up one of my new teammates and we went off. We talked throughout the car ride there and I was able to find out what kind of person he was. We got there and began to socialize with everyone. Everyone was playing games outside, getting to know each other, or catching up. A few minutes later coach brought the guys team together, it was meeting time. We received our summer mileage goals. I'll leave it at that.

From there we ate and talked until the girls meeting was finished. Afterward we got a chance to have some friendly competition in the park. Kickball started it all, the teams were pretty even. In one inning 3 balls flew my way, the first one bounced off of me, the second I ran to and caught and the third bounced off of me after I hit the ground hard.

After Matt popped the ball we decided to play ultimate frisbee. A tournament started and our team dominated. We came back to coaches house tired and thirsty and we all just socialized.

I am pretty excited about this season.

Another "Easy" Run

As I am getting serious about this summer of running I have noticed that I have to fit running first before anything I do. For instance, on the schedule for today was to watch two different track meets, the state meet, and Pre Classic. It began at 5pm so because I didn't want to miss any races, I had to run in the middle of the day. Let me just tell you, four in the afternoon is not a good time to put in a 7 mile run.

As I started running I began to feel the fatigue that had been building for this whole week. I guess the pace had really begun to take a toll on my body so I decided to take it easy. Every step that I took at that easier pace sent a shock up my legs which made me uncomfortable so I began to open my stride and quicken the pace a bit so that I wouldn't be hitting the ground so much. I felt like I was going pretty easy but when I glanced at my watch at the two mile mark that I did on Tuesday I noticed something surprising, I was fifteen seconds ahead of that pace!

I begin to settle into a slower pace. For the next mile and a half it is all uphill. A long, loud, uphill slope and I'll be half way done. Finally I reach the top and check my watch again, 24:30. At this point I realize that I have been still pushing the pace. I need to relax and enjoy the rest of my run and I would, if it wasn't for the strong wind slapping me in the face.

As I hit the downhill portion of my run I begin to let loose. I start moving downhill much faster than I did for the previous portions of my run. As I hit the final corner leading to my house I let out a sigh of relief. Almost home. I stop my watch just outside my house. 48:50. Another negative split. This is getting out of hand.

Making Due.

This day was a huge roller coaster for me.

As I mentioned before I don't really have too many friends left here and was expecting this summer to be very solitary. Needless to say the opposite occurred today. I spent the day caught in a problem, to go out and spend time with an old friend or spend time with one of my new best friends that didn't like how my old friend treated me. I felt as though I was being pressured and taunted into doing things I didn't want to do by my old friend so I decided to go with the latter. I ended up being guilt-tripped the rest of the afternoon. I genuinely felt bad about the whole situation. Don't get me wrong I honestly did want to spend time with my old friend; I don't see him too often, but today was not one of those days.

Today taught me that maybe being alone this summer isn't so bad.

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As the day began to come to a close I found myself losing time to go out and run. I love running in the night but going solo in this city is not really that safe. So I made due with what I had. I was supposed to go hang out with my friend for a bonfire in his backyard so I decided that I would run there and my roommate, who came to visit, would drive me back home.

It was a 5.3 mile run up to his house. Did not sound bad at all. So I got my gear on and set off for his house. I felt pretty great, just a bit sore but good enough to be running a nice pace uphill. As I began to get up higher, the temperature began to feel much cooler. I came to 4 miles and stopped my watch. 28:47. I was content with that. Just a little more than a mile uphill and I was done. As I began to get closer to his house my ankle began to bug me, but it was bearable. I arrived at his house less that 38 minutes later. Much cheaper than driving a car.

I spent the rest of the night eating s'mores and talking about random stuff with my friends. T'was a good night.

Thompson Creek.

I began the day with a long conversation with someone from high school. I spent most of the day talking to her and it helped me come to terms with many of the problems I thought I had. I began to realize that even if I didn't talk to most people from here I was okay.

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When I am home I tend to drive to places to do my runs. For one Montclair is not nice to run in at all. It's a boring city with just a bunch of residential areas. Nothing nature-esque at all. One of the places I found that was nice to run at was the Thompson Creek trail in Claremont. A nice gradual downhill 2 mile trail that I used as a starting point to many of my longer runs. On the left you see nicer residential areas and on the right you see the mountains. A very enjoyable run to do especially in the late afternoon.

Last summer this was one of the runs that really brought me out of the slump that I was stuck in because of injury. I had one of my best runs on this trail and I was pretty excited to try it again.

I began at a pretty brisk pace as the wind began blowing pretty hard toward me. It was nice, even though I knew it was making me work harder. I remembered one line from a previous post saying that I passed the 2k marker at 8 flat. As I hit a split on my stopwatch it read "7:58", could I really be going this fast without even really feeling it? As the 2 mile marker began to come closer and closer I decided to make a last minute change and kept going. I passed through 2 miles at 12:35 and kept going for 8 minutes more just to give my mileage some room for error. I began to climb the big hill that came soon after the trail and was still feeling pretty good.

As I turned I remembered the one thing about this trail that I hated. The last two miles were uphill. I have to say those last 2 miles were complete hell. I pretty much just wanted to get them done and when I clicked my stopwatch to get my final split I was happy to say that I was done with running for the day.

For the day. Tomorrow continues my road toward hopefully the best running season of my life.

Summer

So I noticed I haven't really kept up to date with this thing so since it's the summer and I honestly have nothing better to do than play video games all day and eat huge amounts of things that are bad for me I have decided to begin posting every day. I will mainly focus on running this summer because I want to see my progression from basically nothing to the end of cross country.

I was finally cleared a couple weeks ago and have been doing a bit of running trying to make up this season that I unfortunately lost. I took some time off because I decided to rush into it too soon and began to feel kind of a tug in my hamstring. Then finals came and with trying to spend time with my friends before the school year ended running took a backseat to my social life.

This summer I can't use that excuse. School is over and there is nothing to do all summer long. I have pretty much alienated most of my old friends or don't see some of them making the effort so I will probably spend some time with some of my friends from the dorm a bit but besides that it will be me and the roads. That means many hours of me outside pounding the pavement day by day. At least until my running partner gets out of school.
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Anyways. Today went with me trying to postpone my run all day. I used memorial day as an excuse to not run yesterday. It might just be the fear of the pain I knew I would feel from the first couple runs or it may just be laziness. Either way I had to realize that I was not running while everyone else was. I reminded myself that this is the year where it is time to make history and for me to finally be able to race at 100%. Freshman year was amazing but I never felt like I was able to run perfect. I was either hurt or had to take time off so I wouldn't get more hurt. It was stressful but it did come with many successes.

So once it began to cool down I went off on my run. I wanted to ease into training this week so I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. I chose to run an out and back 4 mile run. I went flat today so that I wouldn't have to work too hard just yet. I should have known better. I can say one thing though, me out of shape now is much faster than what I was last summer. I arrived at 2 miles in 13:55. Just cruising, enjoying the nice breeze and the clear summer skies that just invited me to go.

As I ran back towards home I noticed that my pace quickened. I was running much faster than I originally was but I was okay with it. It was like I was testing myself. I was still aerobic all throughout, I was breathing too hard, I was relaxing and I couldn't help but smile, there is something to look forward to this summer. If this is how well I am running off basically nothing, I can't imagine how I will be after a full summer of training!

As I came to a stop in front of my house and clicked my stopwatch and took my shoes off I glanced at it. 27 minutes 19 seconds. Nice little negative split. This summer is looking up.

A Long Weekend.

What began as a weekend of big hopes,turned into one weekend that I will never forget.

On Friday I decided to go pick up my friend Gabriel to go hang out with him because I had not seen him in quite a while. We had been planning to go to a running store by my dorm and today I finally got some time to be able to take him to go buy his running supplies. My dad took both me and Gabriel over to La Verne and we headed out to get some running stuff. We got a bite to eat soon after and proceeded to eat and talk about how our lives had gone for the next hour. 9 PM came and I needed to get him home. Rain began to pour down pretty hard.

We began driving down the street to head down to the freeway that led to his house. We began to go down Fairplex Drive which is a downhill slope heading down to the freeway. http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&tab=wl The road curves around the hill making it pretty hard to see what is happening. We were going about 45 MPH down the hill when we saw a car coming. Then we realized that it was actually driving in our lane. I yelled, "What the fuck!" and Gabriel yelled, "Shit shit shit!" and I turned right so that Gabriel would not get hit. What ended up happening was that the car hit my front side pushing me into the right lane where I got hit from behind into my rear left tire putting us over the curve.

I remember thinking exactly when I got hit, "Wow this doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would."

I tried to get out of my door but it was smashed in. We got out of the passengers side door and walked out into the rain and yelled out, "What the fuck!!!!!!!!" We spent the next hour in the rain waiting for everything to happen. We had no idea what to do. Stupid lady didn't say a word to us. She never said "Sorry" "Are you guys okay?" or anything like that. I have no compassion for the people in that car. I know it sounds fucked up but when I saw the passengers in the car crying, I just thought, why? How did they not see that they were driving on the opposite side of the road. Look at the map and tell me. The street is well lit. To drive into the lane that I was in you had to go over 2 lanes!

I ended up with a sore chest after hitting the steering wheel. From what I heard Gabriel ended up with sore abs front the impact.

The next day I woke up with a sore neck and back. I had to race that day. I was determined to still race. Yes my back and my neck hurt a lot but my legs were perfect. I had never felt this good. I knew I had a great performance to put down or I was going to try my hardest to. I spent the whole day trying to keep myself from thinking about it.

As time began to tick away I was beginning to doubt myself about racing. I was beginning to think it was not a great idea to go race. I made myself think that I had to. So I go ready to race and last thing I knew I was on the start waiting for the gun. I ended up running the best race of my life again. I ran a 9:19.83. More than a 20 second PR. Considering what had happened the day before I was proud of my performance.

With that said I have to say I am kind of a wreck at the moment. I was not able to sleep last night. My neck and my back are bugging me. Mentally I am not good. I keep overthinking the accident. Now I am without my car, without my full health, and without my mind. All because of a stupid driver.

But I'm alive, so I guess that's cool too.

Breakthrough.

The week leading up to my second race this season was a week of proving to coach and to myself that I was ready to race again. Coming off a disappointing performance at Cal Tech, I was on the bubble of not racing because the coaches wanted me to heal up completely. I was stubborn. For me then thinking that I was not ready to race angered me.

At practice I was caught in my own little world as soon as I started running. I didn't make it through the first workout of the week. I was too tired from school. Wednesday came and I got dropped halfway through the run. I turned at 22.5 minutes and something clicked. I was entranced by the trail leading back to school. The pace quickened for me. I passed by teammates without a single word. It was just me and the trail. Part of it was my frustration of still not knowing if I was going to race or not. I no longer needed to tape up my arches. I was good. While everyone else joked around during the strides, I was still caught up in my own little world.

Thursday was my first indication that I was ready to race. It was a 4 mile tempo run along the dam leading into our two mile time trial route. I felt comfortable throughout the workout, following the pace that they told me. I was tired soon afterward but I felt great. I finally really finished a workout. 2 weeks of running and I was finally getting into the groove.

I learned something that day as well. I have to learn how to run in a pack. That has become my flaw in my running now-a-days. Friday came and I took the front of the pack. I stuck in the front and forced myself to run there until I felt comfortable. I felt good through the run. The strides went well through the pouring rain. I was ready to race. Coach had me set to run the mile.

Friday began as a crappy day. I couldn't find my debit card, my headphones, etc. I was not have a good day. I stopped thinking about how annoyed at was and just relaxed to my music. For some reason I didn't think too much about my race. I knew it was coming but mentally I was in another place. I kept myself calm knowing that I was as ready as I would ever be. I was extremely optimistic as I joked around saying that I wanted to skip the 4:40's.

The weather began to get rough. Rain began to pour down hard. Wind was annoying as well. Sounded like it was going to be an interesting mile. I got through the warm-up and I laced up my spikes. It was on. I was seeded as 4:36.

I walked up to the 1600 line when the official tells us, "This is a real mile." We stepped back to the mile line and the gun went off. I felt pretty good coming through the first lap, it was about a 69. Then I began to push forward and began to lead for a bit. I came across the second lap at a 2:20, I was pretty on pace. I was overtaken for the lead and now my teammates were passing by. I made myself hold on. It was just a lap and a half and it would be over. We came across the bell lap at 3:31. As the my time in this race began to dwindle I knew it was time to push through my fatigue. We hit the last 200 and I began to sprint past two of my teammates. Finish time was 4:43. 10+ second best.

Looks like this is going to be an exciting season.

I told one of the guys in my dorm about it and said I had a lot of fun. His response, "Cris is actually liking track?!" Yes, yes I am.

Saturday was a great day to be a leopard. Distance guys did work. Marcus winning the 200, 4x1, and 4x4. Adam, Michael, AJ, Mike, and Eric having great performances in the 800. Sean having his best race as a ULV runner, finishing with a 66 last 400 to win his heat of the mile, Alex and Alberto having a great race and Matt breaking 4:50 as well. Everyone worked hard evening running that tough 4x4 in the pouring rain right after the mile!

A disappointing performance, or not?

Exactly 365 days from yesterday I was in the same position as I was in yesterday. I was stepping on the line to race.

Walnut, California: February 12 2010

I stepped on the line at about 5:30 PM. The sun was now gone and it was just me and 37 other people lined up to race. The race was 3000 meters, something I had yet to experience in high school. It was a community college race and I was just a senior in high school, all comers is all comers. I remember pretty much everything about the race, what I was wearing, who I was trying to beat and the surroundings of it all.

The gun went off and we sped off to try to get in good position. I knew nothing about those who I was racing except for one. He was a club teammate. Adrian was running for Mt. Sac and had better marks then I had but as a stubborn kid I wanted to finally beat him. I crossed the mile mark at a little over 5 minutes, I felt like it was too slow at the time. I kept pushing forward and passing people. As each lap passed we went by loads of cheering people. We were the last race of the day and everyone had lined up around the start line to cheer on their teammates. It was magic running around those 7 1/2 laps that night.

Lap 5 came past I saw him.

Adrian is coming within reach. Just a little bit more and I can reel him in.

Closer and closer he came. I was making up ground slowly but surely.

A lap left to go and I had to kick it in before he finished.

He ended up beating me that day but I finished with a kick and ended up out-sprinting someone.

That had to be the best track race I have ever had.

Although I did not get to finish that season at least I had a chance to have that experience.

Pasadena, California: February 12 2011

The warm-up begins. Something feels off. It might be the heat but I can't put my finger on it. I am racing my first college race of 2011. This time I am in a completely different uniform. In 2010 it was my club uniform and some Saucony Kilkennys. This year it was my La Verne uniform and Jasari's. As much of a spike freak I am I have to be completely honest when I say this was the first track race over a mile that I was wearing spikes in. I was pretty pumped.

The warm-up didn't feel too good. Usually before races I am set during my warm-up. Everything flows so perfect. The music coming into my eardrums is perfect and I am pretty much set to race. Yesterday it was the complete opposite. It felt like a struggle to try and feel good. I tried to stay focused.

I laced up my Jasari's for the first time and hit my strides. The shoes made me feel good. The feel and just the fact I was wearing them gave me such a boost of confidence.

We lined up and the gun went off. The first lap felt easy. We passed through at 74 seconds. Way too slow. Coach wanted us to pass the mile at 4:50. I have yet to even break 4:50 in a regular mile. At lap 2 my teammate decides that the pace is much too slow and takes off. He and the rest of the pack have now separated from me and I am basically running alone. I crossed the mile at 5:05 while the others crossed at 4:50.

I have to go now. I try to but it burns. My right foot is rubbing up against the material and it feels as though the shoe is tearing my foot apart. I keep trying to pick it up for the next few laps.

I see one of my teammates. I wanted to catch him so bad. I see that he is fading pretty bad and I have to make my move if I want to catch him. I try to but it hurts to now even step on it.

I hit my sprint and finally the race is over. I run through the finish and jump into the grass so I can rip the shoes off of my feet.

Teammate finishes in the exact same time that Adrian finished in last year 9:38. Coincidence?

I ran 1 second faster than I did last year.

As soon as I took my shoes off I was so angry. I knew I ran like shit. Teammates came up to me and I ignored them. All I could think about at that point was well a lot of things. I was caught in a trance. All that I could think about was how it went wrong. How I could not even cross the half at 4:50. That I couldn't even do that. That coach was disappointed in my performance. I know I am much better than that performance.

I'll give myself something. I did PR yesterday. Even if it was one second. I did better than last year.

The thing that is different about last year is that last year I was able to actually train. The last two weeks have been the first two weeks that I have been able to actually run without having to stop after a mile. The first of the two I was still barely able to do enough. So with two weeks of training I was able to replicate my performance from last year.

I still have to say I am pretty disappointed with how I did but it's just a setback.

Edit: Sorry to those that I may have offended due to my attitude after yesterday. I just need to learn to compose myself.

Block It Out

It occurred to me when I had myself knee deep in insults and accusations. What is the point of responding back when you know it will just lead to more problems. By paying attention to things that are trying to nag us, we are just led down a road of problems and frustration. So why do we respond back to these nagging things? This does not just apply to people but just problems in general.

We always feel like we need to put in the last word. Somehow we are led to believe that if we put in the last word we win. It's not always like that.

There are times where there are things that are trying to inflict damage upon us. Many times these problems can be solved by just not responding, by blocking it out. Literally and figuratively. I have been dealing with problems with my arches recently and it has been taking a toll on me mentally. It has led me to just dread doing the thing I love doing the most. I was left dreading a pain that I knew was going to come, not something I was feeling at the moment. So then I am bummed for something that has yet to happen. I waste my time being sad over something that I am currently fixing. Now if I had just had just blocked out what I knew was coming I could have spent that time doing things more productive instead of wondering why am I hurt at this time. When the time finally comes to run I'll be in a good mood instead of waiting for the pain to surge up from the bottom of my feet. Then when it comes I can just shrug it off, its a painful road to recovery but recover I will, theres no use in being frustrated when you know you are doing everything you possibly can.

Same comes when you are dealing with a people that love to antagonize you. I'm sure many can relate to these kinds of situations, where you are basically being pushed into losing your cool. Now-a-days it seems like it is all a match of wits. A chess game of sorts. Sadly at times that is what communication is. One person trying to gain the upper hand on the other. Such is the case when one begins to insult the other into losing their cool. You see it all the time, where people are just throwing insults out just to make it seem like they are in control. The person being insulted has to realize that they are really in control because once one is reduced to insulting someone on the basis of nothing at all they have already lost. All the person that is being insulted has to do is keep their cool while the the person that is insulting looks like a jackass. Ironically by keeping your cool you piss them off beyond belief and when that moment comes all one has to is press the eject button. Remember you don't need to talk to people if you do not want to. You don't need to put in that last word. Just block them out and it is one less problem to deal with.

This is not to say that one should just go out and block everything out, making yourself numb to the pains that come with life. No, we have to deal with these things to make us strong. What I'm saying is that their is some things that one does not have to deal with, people you don't have to deal with, things that you don't have to let get to you etc.

Life is more chill when you just block things out.

A Break for the Body and Soul

I took the advice and it came after another disappointing run.

I arrived at Athletic Training to go for my scheduled pre-practice evaluation. Got both of my arches all taped up and basically kept in one piece. I have to say, it hurt like hell.

Finished the stretches which with every jump I had to do I could feel my arches hurt. Every step. I switched shoes like they told me, no more Kinvara's unfortunately. New shoes feel so heavy. I miss minimalism.

I began the warm up. Every step hurt again but I was able to make it. Did the second set of stretches but they were all done crappy. I have to skip the workout. No tempo for me unfortunately. I watch as they all look like they have a great workout and I cheer them on. Not used to being on this side of things.

They finish and I head out for the cool down. I only get 2 miles done with them when I have to stop. It still hurts and I have to get driven back to school. I am left with another day under 5 miles. Sucks.

What goes through my mind is something that I have never thought would cross my mind during regular season. Take some time off. I sit there in a pensive state on the way back to campus, debating whether to ask the question or not. I take the wrap off of my legs and it peels the skin off of the top of my foot. That's it.

I ask coach, "Coach should I take some time off?" Coach responds to me with a joking smile, "Yes. I've been telling you this." I stand there waiting for him to say something to the effect of when shall I return to practice. "Tuesday." I get 5 days to try and heal up.

It's a needed rest. Both mentally and physically. My body has been in pain and mentally I am wreck due to my body not being able to be in sync with what I know I can do. I need this. I need to take some time and evaluate myself. I will be taking care of my body in any way possible so I can be back and hopefully be able to do at least one steeple race.

I'm not going to lie. I'm really bummed about this. I'm no longer frustrated though. I can't be. I'm doing what I can to get better now. I am being mature about this. It's what I do from here that will determine whether I will stay healthy this season or crash and burn so I must take advantage at what I have before me, my teammates, coach, and the athletic trainers that are there to help us.

I will get better and be where I know I should be. I'll take these couple days to let myself reach that point where I am again in sync.

A Sudden Drop in Altitude

I have come to a point where the frustration has become unbearable. I am in good shape and I know if I was healthy I could finish every workout flawlessly. That's just it, if I was healthy.

Practice begins every day at 2:20 PM. From the time that I awake in the morning to the seconds leading up to practice I am scared. I am scared of what is to come and unsure whether my body will remain in one piece by the end of the run. My run switches from pleasant to hell with one bad step and then begins the pain. Each unforgiving step leads to pain shooting into my foot. It becomes too bothersome to continue and I just want to stop.

This is college though. This isn't high school where it was okay to walk a little if you were in pain. I can't act like a little kid anymore. I hate telling coach that I can't go on and feel like I am disappointing those around me when I have to stop early. So I stop telling people how much I am hurting because to be honest the feeling of finishing a workout is much more fulfilling than just stopping early. It's a pride thing and it will be hard to overcome. I want to get better. I am sick of being a mediocre runner. I want to run long runs at a fast pace and make it feel easy. I want to get to that point where people say, "Wow he's got something special." Not just people, I want to achieve the goals I have set out.

I have yet to have a single real track season. This is my first. My history with track has been horrible. 7th grade making the mile team and getting subbed out and having to sit for hours at our only track meet while someone took my spot. Freshman year not being able to finish a full season because a back injury cause by a certain "Coach". Sophomore year not finishing because of the lack of a distance coach. Junior year again not having a coach. Senior year not finishing the season because a certain "Coach" would not let me race. Now I am here to my first track season and what happens? I cannot do steeple, the race I have been wanting to do since I was a sophomore and I worry that I can't even finish a short run.

It is all probably due to what I did in high school. Not any mileage at all, no correct workouts etc. I am now in college struggling to get through because I was not prepared. There's a reason why I am the first guy from my school running competitively post high school and now I know why. I am doing double the workload and I am struggling. In Cross Country I had trouble with keeping up with the other guys and now I am having trouble just being able to finish.

I now hear it often, that I should take some time off, maybe a week or a month or a season. It hurts to have to hear that. I feel like I have done whatever I could and it's all gone to nothing because again my body can't take it.

I will listen though. Whatever they tell me to do I will follow. I have great teammates helping me through this and an amazing coach guiding the way for me because he doesn't want me to be permanently injured. I have the support I need I just need the support of myself. I need to be all there again, mentally. I have to get back into cruising altitude.