Pomona Pitzer

As the season has progressed I am continually left more uncertain about what is to happen. It is a bit exciting but also a bit terrifying. To know that I have a lot of pressure on myself, but I am calmed knowing I'm not the only one, we each have a lot of pressure put on us, it comes with the sport. Still I am afraid of having a bad race because I fear that the rest of my team will be angry. That's what continuously goes through my mind day after day as I make my daily routine. It happens at all times except once the workouts begin or when race day finally comes. That day I force myself to not think anything. To let my mind wander becomes my downfall, I just know that I have to focus on the task at hand.

Being the person I am, I am surprised I am able to do this. I spend the whole day questioning myself and basically over-thinking about every single possible thing that occurs in my life. Everything is either not good enough or too good to be true. There seems to be no balance.

I spent most of the week trying to recover from a sickness that had plagued my system since the weekend. I tried to take care of myself as much as I could. Likewise I spent the whole week trying to mentally recover. Mile repeats had destroyed my spirit, I went from being able to crank 5:10's to barely being able to handle 5:40's. I felt horrible. I was left in doubt in more things than just running.

As the day came closer and closer, our first invitational in over two weeks. I was restless, how would I do, could I possibly repeat another performance like UCI? I felt perfect that day and I was now feeling far from that but I made myself think I was ready when in reality I doubted that I could even run 28.

The day finally came. I awoke at about 5:30 AM. I got myself prepared for what was to come. I walked to the Circle K across the street and got my usual Blue Gatorade. I turned on my Zune and to my shock it would not turn on. Dead battery. I charged it the night before but I guess the charger came unplugged. I ran back to my dorm and got my charger. I then drove to the athletic parking lot. I walked up to the athletic building and the upper door was locked. I walk down and the lower door is locked as well. It is 6:02 and I am now late. I need to call someone to open the door but what is this? Of course I lost my cell phone. I run back to my car and cannot find my stupid phone. I walk to a different door and it opens. I walk to the team meeting late and stressed. I finally find a way to charge my Zune. A 20 minute charge will be enough. We receive our race instructions. Go out first 3 miles in 16:00 or faster. It just got real. My goal is to go out in my high school PR. Whatever. It's a challenge and I was going to take this big risk.

We go to the vans and I go to my car to find my phone. Fortunately I find it, unfortunately a little after I find out one of my headphones is now broken. Ugh How was I supposed to focus. I decided to brush it off.

We get to our warm-up. I was far from feeling 100%. I just brushed it off. I completed the warm-up. It had began to rain, this race was going to be interesting. We got to the start and we circle up. Matt gave us a prerace peptalk. I was focused on the task at hand. It was time to basically nut up or shut up.

Ready, Set, BANG!

The race was off. I was left being pushed around in the middle of a huge pack. First loop comes though and I already feel pretty winded. How could this be I'm not even a mile in and I'm feeling like crap. Pass though the first mile in 5:30. I can't believe it, all that effort and it's only a 5:30?! I keep pushing, taking off on the turns. Second mile passes, 10:56, I've picked up the pace slightly. Third mile comes I pass through around 16:20's. I am beginning to really pep up. I am now on pr pace. As mile 4 comes Matt passes me. He looks strong coming through and I just trying to keep my composure. I pass mile 4 at 21:50's. I know I am set to PR. I got to keep pushing. Right ahead of me is 3 Pomona Pitzer guys. Pomona Pitzer is in our conference and I need to catch them. Just ahead of them is Brandon from Fullerton. Brandon beat me last year at Mt. Sac. I was close. Just ahead of him was my counselor Alec. He was the one I wanted to catch the most. These guys were all within reach. I just had to dig deep. They did and I couldn't catch them, the gap was a bit too big. I get to the last 100 meters, the time said 27:10's, I had to go! I was en-route to a PR and I just needed to dig deep. I hit my sprint and almost caught one of them. I cross the finish line and it's 27:26.3. New PR.

We later find out that we got 4th as a team! Amazing.

Unfortunately not all of us were happy. Alex was given a different a different challenge. He was supposed to go out in a time that seemed inconceivable. He was up for the challenge. Unfortunately for him it did not go how he planned. He didn't do as well as he usually does. He was crushed. I have gained a lot of respect for him throughout this season. He went for something knowing there was a high chance of dying out and when he hit the wall he didn't just walk off the course, he kept going. That's how a leader does it. When I came passed him I could tell he was in pain but he didn't give up. If he had we wouldn't have done as well as we did.

Great job ULV XC we all ran great and learned more lessons along the way. When it matters it will all come together.