Digging Around

At this point there is so much to say. I haven't really kept track of my this thing because to put it bluntly, my training went to shit. I can't run if I can't bend my knee. From there came a downward spiral of frustration and laziness. I mean what else can I do around this city if I can't run and have barely any friends around here.

It's rough coming back here for the summer. It has really kicked in.I told myself not to look forward to anything but running. Unfortunately when running began to take a downturn the reality of coming back here surfaced. I'm not comfortable here unless I put in my mind that I'm here to train. I'm not back here to make friends, hell I had 17.5 years to do that here and those that I am still friends with from here are there for a reason. ‎"I kept going and going and going. And I kept running until there was nobody trailing me until there was nobody around me until I couldn’t hear any footsteps, you know. I left in a blaze of glory, so to speak. But I left some important people behind too. Now I go back to Zombieland and nobody’s faces look the same." This says it all. The funny thing is that even those that I come back to don't seem to be the same. We aren't as close as we used to be. I'm not sad about it though. Before I would be really depressed about it, but now I realize that I have the people I need around me already.

I also have come to the conclusion that I have sort of faded from the good person I used to be into kind of a douchebag. I have to fix that about myself. I guess my "friends" did too good of a job back then. I am not hurt as easily as before but I do not feel as genuine as I used to. Things need changing and the summer really is the perfect time to do it.

Summer has officially started and if I am not going to make memories I am going to at least make sure that I come out a better person.